Having said all that, I am not sure it would be worth the HM mentioning its reputation to the AP. I can think of a few scenarios:. AP takes it however meant as an attack on her reputation or as shaming her. Is embarrassed, upset, angry. HM expresses concern over reputation of Tinder. Especially since, like I said, creepy guys are abundant and VOCAL on the site, so AP has already seen messages from them, and filtered them out. Currently hosting my 12th AP — my advice — encourage your AP to meet men in a public place with another AP friend or friends in tow!
Encourage group activities until she knows she is safe. Tell her not to accept a drink alcoholic or not from anyone but a bartender or server. AP 8 was the most clueless out of all my APs. I could see her shiver with delight as she told me about the encounter and how she was meeting him later. She looked crestfallen when I encouraged her to pick a public place and bring along a friend. Of course he wanted one thing, and I wanted her to make sure she knew she was safe with him before it happened.
The problem is, at the end of the day, she is having a string of random men that she does not know very well come to your home on a regular basis. Having virtual strangers come to your residence on a regular basis is unacceptable. I mean honestly she has no other option right now so I think you need to decide how important this is to you. Important enough to pay for her to Uber to a local public spot and back or take her and pick her up yourself. For the record, tender no longer has the hook up reputation amongst people in the au pair age range.
The vast majority of the au pairs in our area use tinder and they are not using it to hook up and several have boyfriends that they met via the app. The app is so mainstream now and so easy to use that people in the au pair generation are using it just is a regular dating app. Tinder is still a hook up app in many geographical areas, espcially around colleges and universities.
My AP found this out the hard way recently. Marriage is on the table, but both of us would rather not rush into that just for residency, and we'd rather have a proper wedding at our leisure, when both of our families can attend, which would take months of coordination. However if her visa were to expire she would be forced to leave for a minimum of two years, which absolutely no one wants. I have a family law lawyer, but he doesn't know about this. I'd like to do as much paperwork myself as possible, but I can have him do my filings for me.
As normal with bureaucracy, I understand things take time, but we're getting down to a deadline. I appreciate any help that anyone can provide. Dogmatique View Profile View Forum Posts Private Message. Join Date Apr Location Somewhere near Canada Posts 35, My Au Pair Girlfriend Wants Permenent Residency in the U. S Marriage does not automatically negate the 2-year requirement on the J1 visa to begin with. An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo.
S I was afraid of that. I searched all over, and every indication pointed that it did, however nothing was concrete in saying so. It is hard to find information on this though. Thank you for the clarification. S In practice, a waiver for a J1 is not easy to obtain unfortunately. Have you discussed your options with an immigration attorney? It may well be worth the initial couple of hundred dollars for a consultation. Failing that, do you have the option of returning to her home country with her?
S I have not discussed with an immigration lawyer yet, the end of her visa has gone from 6 months to just over two in what seems like over night. I can't return to her home country with her for more than week's time at most, as I have a career, house, mortgage here, and more importantly, children, an ex-wife, and elderly parents who I don't provide constant care for, but they live close and I am able to go over in the event of an emergency.
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