Some of these questions may seem silly at first, but they can be very telling. Are you a cat person or a dog person? If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Do you have any nicknames? Do you have any siblings? If you could be any person for a day, who would it be? Are you as tired of KimYe as I am? Do your parents still live in the house you grew up in?
Are you a morning person or a night person? Do you ever cook? Do you like your job? What do you want to do next? Do you have a big group of friends? Do you consider yourself career-driven? What are you most passionate about? Getty Images Phase 4: Sign Me Up for a Second Date Time to seal the deal—the last few minutes of a date are crucial to make sure a second date happen.
All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed—stylish, but not overdone. There is a stiff formality to the way they sit—no slouching. They scan the room, menu, and table setting, only occasionally making eye contact. Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. He seems tongue-tied, she seems self-conscious.
Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. More excruciating silence ensues. As would-be romances go, this plane is very slow to leave the gate and get onto the runway. It remains to be seen if it will pick up speed, gain altitude, and soar skyward. Do not let this happen to you! Sometimes they lead to burning love ; sometimes they go down in flames.
The key to having a positive experience is relaxed conversation, and that can be helped along with some well-chosen first-date questions. Listen as much or more than you talk. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly. But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part. The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people.
Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. Each person gets a turn—and no one hogs the ball. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast.
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