Preaching to myself here. Learn to ask good questions. Again, since your interaction is largely limited to conversation, make sure you keep the conversation interesting and purposeful. It helps if you ask good questions. For example, instead of just asking "How was your day? It also helps jog their memory about their daily activities and gives them the starting point for a good, open, real conversation. Instead of asking "How's that book you're reading? Find ways to experience daily life together.
So far the theme of this article has been that "you only have conversation" as a means of hanging out. But after a few months of long distance dating my boyfriend, I have come to the unanimous conclusion that conversation is not enough. And this is what makes long distance so hard. We've made an effort to have daily experiences together even though we're miles apart. If one person has to wake up early for work, we both set our alarms and call each other as a backup alarm. Though we are not morning people at all, a few wake up calls have turned into 45 minute conversations, because it's nice to start the day together.
We have a book that we're reading together out-loud on the phone. We send each other pictures of our day and sometimes videos. We've made efforts to visit each other so that we recognize streets, restaurants, and people when we mention them in conversation. All of this can't replace being in person 7 days a week, but we're trying.
Speaking of being in-person, prioritize the visits! It's worth the time and worth the money. While we haven't nailed it perfectly, my boyfriend and I try to see each other every weeks. This obviously isn't possible for everyone, but if it is, make the effort! Is there a place you can meet in the middle? I live in NYC and my boyfriend lives in NC. One weekend we decided to take a day trip to DC. He drove and I took the train. Sounds crazy, I know, but it was so worth it.
Don't spend all of your in-person time one-on-one. When you haven't seen each other in a long time, it's tempting to want massive amounts of alone time just the two of you. And while this is important, it's also very important for your relationship that you spend time with other people. Your significant other should know your friends and you should know theirs. The best relationships are the ones that can be experienced in community. So, don't be hermits. Plus, it'll help your friends understand why you do this long distance thing if they know your partner.
And it will help your relationship with your partner if they can picture who you're talking about when you tell them stories on the phone. Keep in mind that you're different people. Different people with different needs, emotions, and tolerance levels. Being long distance might be really hard for one of you one day and easier for the other person. You might miss each other at different times and for different reasons.
Study yourself and your partner. Learn what makes them tick. Learn their emotional needs. Figure out how you can support them from afar. Can you really fall in love and manage a long-distance relationship? Traveling can be expensive, so communicate with your LDR on how often you can visit each other and suggest a romantic weekend away to a neutral place when the time is right. At the end of the digital day, if you feel a strong connection, online dating and technology can become your best friend.
Julie Spira is a leading online dating expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert. How to Choose Between Two Women: Hunt Ethridge, Men's Dating. Mike Goldstein, Women's Dating. Is Online Dating for Me? Hayley Matthews, Online Dating. Great efforts are made to maintain reliable data on all offers presented. However, this data is provided without warranty. Our site receives compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site including, for example, the order in which they appear.
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