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Black Guys Dating White Guys

You will both help each other through this. Talk to your family, and if they don't want to meet him, sit with that. Figure out what's important to you. You shouldn't not see a man just because your family has prejudices, and the same goes for his family. Seasoning skills are not something you are born with. Expect to learn a lot, too.

I had never listened to Radiohead before dating my last boyfriend, even though I had heard they were a pretty influential contemporary band. Maybe he doesn't know the words to "Creep" by TLC, but you don't know the words to "Creep" by Radiohead either, so be open to those experiences. Halloween presents unique opportunities. If you want to point out your melanin difference, there are loads of costumes you can partake in. Be Uhura and Spock from Star Trek, be Pocahontas and John Smith--or, you can blow everyone's minds and go as just a pumpkin or a witch.

It's up to you. But, you can definitely take yourselves less seriously on October 31st each year. When you fall in love, it will have nothing to do with your race. A lot of people on the Internet like to weigh-in negatively about interracial relationships and why they happen. Truthfully, like any relationship, you cannot help whom you love.

If you have the same interests, enjoy spending time together, and can see a real future with someone, you will love them without even thinking about their race. It is neither advantageous or disadvantageous to date outside of your race, or class, or within your gender. I was 19 the first time a man of color actually expressed halfhearted interest in me; he was a biracial friend who repeatedly asked me out and then repeatedly forced me to pay for these dates.

Meanwhile, throughout high school and college, the few black men I knew found my blackness as subpar to theirs. As a black woman, I wanted to be seen as attractive to more than just black men. If I waited for a black guy who liked me to apparate out of thin air, I would have waited a decade. Black guys have more easily understood my gripes about my hair or institutional injustice.

More important than his looks are his kind heart and gentle spirit. He teaches me about German beer and soccer chants; I familiarize him with my Caribbean culture and Jamaican cuisine. Still, at times I feel ashamed for dating outside my race. How can I support the advancement of black people if I have never let down my walls for a black man myself?

That day in the grocery store, I stood in the checkout line behind that handsome black man with the Rice Krispies. He was now joined by a small toddler and a very pregnant wife. His wife and I caught eyes, and I flashed her a smile.


I’m a black woman who doesn’t date black men. Sometimes, I feel guilty about that.


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