Does he egg you on to take a shot, too? Does he think for a minute and refrain from taking one himself? Tell him how you feel about drinking alcohol. Again, watch how he responds and take note of any defensiveness. No one wants to believe their new guy is an alcoholic, so any sense you have that he might have a drinking problem is a cause for concern. Always remember that waiting or hoping that kind of behavior can change is distorted, wishful thinking.
The ugly truth is that alcoholism and drinking issues wreck a lot of romantic relationships. The drug of choice trumps everything in the lose-lose game of addiction. You know, problem drinkers generally will quit drinking if it becomes a huge problem Alcoholics will rationalize and justify their consumption, even when dying of liver failure in the hospital. The ones who are brave enough to actually attempt quitting, do not find their lives improve immediately.
I don't want to go through another relationship with an active alcoholic. So, I will pay attention to the red flags and avoid those exhibiting them like the plague, fairly or not. It's not worth the risk to me. If you wonder if you're an alcoholic, you can google a test called "The Twenty Questions". The medical profession uses this test for diagnosis. If you think someone you know is an alcoholic and you google that test, I also suggest you google "Codependency" because you are one.
I am quite familiar with both alcoholism and co-dependency, having been in recovery from both for almost 11 years. I know of which I speak. He got defensive and raised his voice. He flipped my plastic tray and sent the bottles flying. I watched as they shattered and decorated the asphalt like glitter. I knew then that I was done. I walked the other way and went home, alone. When we decided to be exclusive, he showed me his profile before disabling it.
Could You Be Dating an Alcoholic? What to Look For…
Dating an Alcoholic
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