She wore a faux fur coat which was about 10 times too big for her, some sparkly leggings and some hideous trainers. When he said 'well kept' I think he meant well kept beer in his beer belly. He leaned in for a kiss and I turned my head away. He asked to see me again. The barman had to drag him off me. Cleavage is not an invitation to lunge. Turns out, bras are good defence mechanisms Image: Getty "I screamed and jumped up only to leave him in a heap on the floor with blood gushing from his face.
Then he told me he was surprised I wasn't shy because he had a better body than me. So I had to make up an excuse for going out and chuck him out, and then hide around the corner for half an hour. We talked several times and decided to meet in person. Neopets is predominantly a site for children Neopets "The next day I told him I just didn't feel like we connected and didn't want a long-distance relationship.
He began calling me all through the night and singing in to the phone. He seemed nice, and we bumped into each other a few times too. Suddenly, he was all handsy, slurring his words and saying totally inappropriate things to me and the bar staff about how he wanted me to get naked right then. Needless to say, the gravy went everywhere. Again, I should have just upped and left. People all around were giving us weird looks and smirking, not surprisingly.
I had to pay, as he'd conveniently forgotten his wallet, and then as he couldn't barely stand let alone walk, I ended up giving him a lift to the station. Which of course I looked at, and found messages from 7 different women telling him what a stud he was. They had obviously met a different version of the man than I had! She ran up a HUGE bar tab while we were there and expected me to pay which wasn't really cool.
Back to the bar! This time I brought a few of my friends along. Everyone loved the place. But things took a bad turn on the way to drop off my date and her cousin. Her cousin made a comment about having just about the right amount of people for an orgy. My date replied that it wouldn't be the first time, what did her cousin think she did at all those parties she went to. The level of sketchiness was just too much. That was the last time I went out with her, I miss that bar though.
The date who came bearing gifts: Not long after signing up for Yahoo! Personals, I got a message from a girl who didn't have a… Read more I was excited to meet, as I hadn't dated in a while. In hindsight, there were a few warning signs that this might not turn out well for me. How soon things changed. After waiting outside a few minutes, up pulls a purple Camaro convertible. If you've ever seen the movie Friday, where Smokey gets set up with "Janet Jackson", you know what comes next.
I'm not a small guy by any means, and this girl had at least 50 lbs on me, if not more. In addition to her purse, she was carrying a brown paper bag. I didn't really want to know what might be inside. We went in and got seated at our table and after a minute or two of uneasy conversation, she said, "I brought you something. Pringles" written on the cape. My face felt like it was on fire and I could feel everyone in the entire place staring at me.
The probably fake date that we want to believe in that just gets weirder: Oh my fuck me you do not know what you're getting into asking for this. This one is mine: Read more We talk for 5 minutes, she apologizes for being late and we go eat. I don't think anything of paying, even when I'm with friends but I immediately took her up on her offer to go Dutch. We really quickly got on the topic of sex, which I thought was odd, and I said that I like to think that I'm open to anything, but some stuff I consider weird like furries, and I couldn't even try because I'd be laughing too hard.
She then tells me that the way she has been making her living for the past several years is she goes to anime and furry conventions and draws pictures of patrons as animals with their junk out.
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