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Handsome Romantic Dating

As a teenager, I always wondered, when would it happen for me? When would some beautiful girl take me by the hand, look deep into my eyes, appreciate all my wonderful quirks and make out with me torridly? You create your own luck. If you like a girl, talk to her and ask her out. You don't expect to ace an exam just by getting lucky, do you? So step up and put in some elbow grease.

Which brings us to Wimpiness may be the root of all the dating woes of smart men. So quit being chicken already. Ask her out again. Set up the whole date: Don't be afraid to ask for what you want or to get righteously indignant when warranted. Worry less about offending people, more about having fun. Be comfortable in your own skin. You're a science geek? You love computers, baseball cards, classical music, anime? You're a horny little devil?

People only love us for who you are, not who we pretend to be. I know it's fashionable amidst the smart set to be dissatisfied with yourself and to keep striving for more, bigger, best. However, women will tell you that there's nothing more attractive in a man than self-acceptance which is not the same as complacency. So start where you are, and keep on growing.

When you accept yourself, the world accepts you. Accept the nonlinearity of women and romance. As guys, a lot of what we did in physics and math class was to try to straighten crooked stuff out. Model it with an equation. Do a linear regression. But you know what? They were all approximations anyway. And most things in life don't follow linear equations - not your breath, not your heartbeat, not your Apple stock, and most certainly not women and romance.

So don't come and tell me that women don't make sense to you. Unlike thermodynamics, women are not intuitively obvious. She introduces Dev to Italian music and Italian film and Italian literature. She teaches him to dance the twist and explains art to him. In Italy, the emphasis is more about looking for love and less about looking to be in a relationship. If someone is romantic with you, the expectation is that they are romantic only with you—no need to have the talk about whether to be exclusive.

The emphasis is more about looking for love and less about looking to be in a relationship, which means that people are generally more open with each other and less concerned about having options on the side. Not so in the US. I soon realized that was not it: They were asking if I was going on dates, a concept that was completely alien to me. Conversations feel like interviews. Dev makes a move to kiss the women more out of routine than any real urge.

People date this way because they see it as a means to an end. Start off with some basic phrases like: Spanish Love language Okay, great, they accepted your invitation for a date! This can be used after dating exclusively for a couple of weeks or months. Beware the cantina cahn-tee-nah! Are you having a good time? The mood is right to invite them out onto the dance floor. Do you want to dance? If all else fails you can just do a wild charades-style imitation of a dance to get the message across.

When the packed room, body heat and booming speakers become insufferable, invite your date outside: Do you work or study?


Why Do Smart Guys Have A Tough Time Dating?


“Master of None” perfectly captures the difference between how Italians and Americans date

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