Tell me about yourself. What do you like to do? What do you do for a living? Do you have any pets? I love cats and dogs. Are you a cat person or a dog person? Are you a vegetarian? What did you do last weekend? Do you believe in star signs? Do you know what Chinese zodiac you are? Family is important to me. Do you have a signature drink?
Are you a morning person or a night owl? Do you like scary movies? What do you like to do in your downtime? Would you consider yourself a sarcastic person? Do you like tattoos? If you could live anywhere, where would it be? If you could be a character in any movie, who would you be? How did you pick your Zoosk display name? Do you have any tattoos? If you got one what would you get? Are you close to your family? If you could choose a superpower what would it be?
What are you most likely to stay up all night talking about? Do you have a good one to tell? When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? Are you an adventurous person? Would you describe yourself as a romantic person? Do you like to dance? Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you have any nicknames? Where did you grow up? It remains to be seen if it will pick up speed, gain altitude, and soar skyward.
Do not let this happen to you! Sometimes they lead to burning love ; sometimes they go down in flames. The key to having a positive experience is relaxed conversation, and that can be helped along with some well-chosen first-date questions. Listen as much or more than you talk. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly. But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part. The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people.
Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. Each person gets a turn—and no one hogs the ball. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast.
They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive. Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. For now, take it easy. If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy.
Genuine interest goes a long way. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information and asking follow-up questions to further draw out the one talking. Who has been the biggest influence in your life? What kinds of things really make you laugh?
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