Or is there a standard when we talk light skinned vs. With some of my lighter skinned women friends, they definitely encounter a lot of issues that they talk to me about. I think across the board, a lot of lightskinned women are always perceived as the pretty girl or they always have it easy. What has the feedback been like? People were caught off guard by the style and definitely the content.
Why would this beautiful man with an amazing physique would have problems at all? Well, he does and you will see both sides of the coin. So many people have just been really into it and excited about it, so it just encourages us to do more. The response here was just so crazy. You know what else was really interesting about the response?
Like, I prefer dark skinned men myself. People were not expecting a sudden sex scene and I was just laughing. I'm sure when I ended things they were so shocked because they taught they were involved with a dark-skinned women who would be lucky if any guy talked to them so she would hold onto them for as long as she could. So when I left them, their egos were extremely bruised. When someone views you that way, it is quite evident in their actions.
When I was dating guys outside of my race that was a whole other mess. First thing first I was always their secret. I could come over to the house and hang but not meet the family. These men fetishized my skin and black girl features in private, but didn't value me enough to involve me in their public lives. They thought by calling me chocolate, and African Queen that they would compensate for all the other things they were lacking. I feel like all women go through this, especially women of color.
Some men think we are a joyride, an experience, an adventure- we are not. That is not love and I had to learn not to let their attention blind me from seeing their true intentions. I was good enough for sex or to dance with at a party, but never enough to wife. They wanted women who had a fairer complexion, with finer hair and lighter eyes so when the game of genetics was complete their daughters would look more like their mother than their fathers.
This did not make me sad for myself but for my brothers. How can you, a beautiful black man not want beautiful black children? When your beautiful black parents created you — did they think you were ugly or did they worship the beautiful child they created? Dating, in general, is hard — but dating as a dark skin black women has come with hardships I never expected. We dark skin girls have to really evaluate these men because for so many years dark skin has and is a crime and that conditioning has done damage to all aspects of our lives.
This damage has clearly manifested itself in the ways they view the women in their lives. However, it is not impossible for us to find healthy relationships — and I have had some. I have found men who value me as a human and who value and love my skin tone, not in a degrading manner at all. Most importantly, I have found peace with myself and I will never let anyone try to force me into thinking that I deserve some second hand, dried up, half-assed, self-conscious love!
Reaction to Dark Girls From a Light-Skinned Black Man
‘YELLOW’: New Web Series Explores The Challenges Of Light Skinned Black Men
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