Why am I wasting my face muscles on you? It turned out to be my best decision of the night. Not only did I get a female perspective on Speed Metal Dating, but when Marisa and I eventually had our own speed date, we got to exchange stories. To the beefy tunes of legends like Slayer and High on Fire , ladies stayed put as dudes moved down the line one seat at a time.
The room practically exploded with conversation instantly. Turns out they were dragged to Vitus by a friend. And they were pretty! Be still my blackened heart. I traded lighthearted insults with one lovely creature with more facial piercings than Al Jourgensen before moving on to her dreadfully charming British friend. About 10 dates in I was running low on Trooper Ale, so I absconded to the bar with my next date; a female comic who had been hitting the sauce since noon.
Was it sexually charged or racially insensitive? He informed me that he had lightheartedly mentioned how jealous he was that some kids got free breakfast at school growing up. Back in the dating pool I eventually matched up with Marisa, whose eyes told me tales of unimaginable horror before her mouth got the chance: Luckily, my first mini-date was with a guy who was nice, normal, and even funny which definitely caused me to misjudge how the night would go.
We joked, we talked, it was pleasant! Physically attractive, hyper guy, clearly into metal, sat down, promptly told me he had his eye on me the whole night and wanted my number… aaaaand it worked. Mid-forties, skateboarder, professional drug dealer. I made my way back to where I left my jacket earlier and migrated to the bar. Granted, there may have been more bloggers around than metal heads -- but that's Brooklyn for you.
All in all it was a successful evening and I can't wait for the next one. Until then, good luck in love, metal heads! More than anything else that happened over the span of the night -- being forced into conversations with 31 people, getting outside of my typical crowd, the overwhelming darkness and noise of the bar -- having a girl step up to the plate and actually have the bravery to ask me out was my most shocking takeaway.
I turned her down, but it was a great cap to a surprisingly fun night. I admittedly spent most of the night ragging on the untraditional setup of the event. But, in the end, I had too much of a good time to deny it. Kari Langslet graduated from UC Davis in the completely unrelated field of archaeology. Travel nerd, dog obsessed, and avid dater, you've probably seen her running around Brooklyn headbanging at a show with a slice of pizza in one hand and her phone open to the happn app in the other.
If you think you can handle all that, follow her on Twitter: Brett Williams is a writer in New York.
Speed Metal Dating! at Saint Vitus
Speed Metal Dating
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